20.12.03

Curious George

Wish he were my moral figure
standing high up on a pedistal, signing his signiture
I wish he were the president
a golden God of some safe haven.

Have no worry
Curious is lurking...
have no fury
soon he's gonna hurry.
Have no worry
show no mercy
dont start running
cuz Curious George is coming.

They say he's just a doll, and all
I beg to differ, and say he's what ya call-
I prisoner of this cold-blooded plastic wrap
but he's the one they call when everybody starts to snap.
And he'll lecture me
If I dont talk about him possitively
He'll start a vicious riot
if they get out of line, so dont you even try it.

Chorus

The minute he walked in the room
you shut your eyes and thought "please dont cast my doom"
You thought he was often friendly
when you looked on the TV
said I'm gonna buy-ie
a huggable Georgie
but that's not what you got
and your awefully dissapointed.
But now he's in your bedroom and he's pickin' you with a broom
And did God send him here
we don't know quite clear
if there will come a day, when he'll package us up in plastic wrap
make us dance and clap
kids will play with us on their lap
ice cream and chocolate all over our faces
at least the cold war didn't bring new sharp silverwear to the race
and in space we'll fly
until then...let's....hide.

Chorus.

after the agnolagement of your room as a radio
they found some wires and some interest in your life
they went a awry after you let them in your nose
and now they want everything including your clothes.
The TV is a popsicle that babies lick until theyre mouths sore up
until they can shut up, not lie, cheat, steal or fuck up.
with that in mind, who can fit in- and who is the alien?
under your skin are you living out your dreams?
don't push those wires back and fold the seams
Curious George got a million plans and they all work in the end.

15.9.03

She wraps her arms around a shadow
but it looks just like me
Can't help but imagine the reflection of our sacred motion
in the daylight that holds us so beautifully free.

Nothing like a cornerstone away from clouds of love
and theres nothing that feeling again
theres nothing like an addiction, a good addiction that covers your wounds
and theres nothing like that feeling again.
Sin.

Pirates of...this drooling ship
came to see, some sensual shit
I was knocked out, you were locked out
They busted in to take a picture and make a scandal of it.

12.9.03

The Dependency Girl

For myself,
this habit needs to go...away
For this trust (in me)
this habit needs to break..someday
In my imbalance
I will strike a nerve
I will concieve my thirst...
to live, peacefully again.

This dependency, is killing me
inside and out- where ever I go
I cannot rise to reach myself or reach this moment
I wish I had the answer, the comprimise
but the truth lies in slipping it away, to reach this possition
to heal my lack of oxygen
that crumbles onsight with the dependency
I shudder to think what life would be like without it.

I need,
peace to keep the balance
I need,
temper to adjust my feeling to this
I crave it,
whenever I'm at loss with the world
I crave the nurture
you give me when my fucking hate unfurls.

Underneath the skin, is a real understanding of myself
and I can't let this go, not for a second
in doing so, would be killing the dream
and causing much feared burden.
I need to let you go
even though you heal me
I need to let you outta the space
that confines my desperate brazon mentality.
there must be someway
to shut you out.
there is no answer,
but I'm keeping distance and moving ahead.


Golden gates will welcome exuberance and curiosity
but solid, restless faith will give the limbs that golden (and god-given) ability.

Do you need anymore friends, once you've got a self-reflection?
Would it help if friends were drugs, and you were the gallon that they quickly dissapated in?

Drugs are, by law, a moral restraint to citizens in higher-class of some form.
Law is a moral containment in mental or concious class (meaning concieved of
integral parts).
Drugs are entertainment gifts for the morally challenged by which to chew or swallow for market lifting.
Law is a dissastisfaction of the lawmakers whom presume things to be Already presently constued in a "fucked up" way- by the people.
The people are the moral dictators-
the drugs carry solice function far from legal concerns
law is a habit and it consumes many in fear- drugs Do help in ridding fear
albeit construe society's addicts in harmful ways.
Law does not challenge anything, and law most importantly does not care for the people who are sick in the streets, prying at passerbys and dying alone.
The law, most often, did not just Create these people.
But somehow it engaged the people in cold assertions that provoked ridicule or
fear. Law provokes moral codes, but law is Not moral, by any means.
Drug addiction has no value to people of a morale colour. And that goes without saying, it has no value for the law. The law is just insane and hypostasis-driven.
That is what is to be learned about the law, if anything, is that it leads to confusion, protestation, rage and cold-heartedness. That same rigidity makes the odds of getting laid in the court room even less. Judges and lawyers are bad...some of them, of course. Now as for drugs, they're completely separete, which means the law and drugs should have nothing to do with people. It's just that people of the law love any justifiable means to control the people. And the people are susceptible, and so they buy the drugs that are on TV...for some reason....


You've bitten your arm off in this restless self-argument
now you have to work extra hard to build back your confidence.

Self-pity is trusting your sub-concious to tell you things that can infringe
on your ability to self-agnolage. When you do that, you're mind and body
are blind to the reality of the present which is- Move on.

Don't wallow on your grudges or your regrets or mistakes.
If they were consievable in the constant river of life, then they would be Mildly worthwhile. But this river flows too fast, so just move ahead.

Earth and the universal plantation do not care about your thought-weakness
or your dwellful pity.
Moniter Of Moniters

This compassion is desirable
I'm feeding orchids their medicine, and I don't want any myself
It's impossible for me to dream
with this encyption on my skin.

I dont wanna wallow in distrust or vain sincerity
I dont wanna pretend I'm just a-nother person like you
I don't wanna be a God or pretend I'm forgetting
something Ive said twice is good as being bad without being nice.

Other means to go by remembering
everything you said is useless in the reality that showers around me.

All the people that look like children
are mild and friendly, cuz they can't hurt them
the pusher that shoved the needle into the scab
was forgetting the reason for poisoning the trust and love for giving
Even if your intention to care is mute-
I don't wanna know, dont wanna tow this big useless bag of fortune-shit
in my neck, a cold swell deepens like the rest of the
atrophying reptiles like a human-
and moderately dying with contention.

It's impossible to dream
with this encryption on my skin.

Chorus.

All the rivers that flow down my neck
are poured from the wreck I instill upon the day our tensions met.

And it is never reletting.

Hope....is my only trust
is my only companion
through all the grief I've suffered, stumbled into
through and in these wallowing years of my sanctified infection
Molding, mustering up some guilt that
wholly waters are the only threat, the lean in to kiss my weasing chest
to death. the moniter beside my bed continues to steadily weap confessions
of stress
anger and denial- that somehow I've repressed in through my long while
consumed within the moment,
so fragile within distant confusion,
that I may never break free or call the benevolent beast out
to take a relapse.

The moniter in my mind, continues to remind-
strenuous confusion will muster itself, until the universal feeling becomes
too moldy and begins to make my eyes and heart blind.

And emotion will nolonger be

9.9.03

Society's ways are illegal in my book
all the hypocrates say "one shot was all it took"
I am against the laws they produce
but once I get in I'm never gonna get loose.

THeres just some things you cannot do
If you put them to their anger they will snap at you
sooner or later, this world will suffer
for the damage caused by the pain we offer.

What I'm I talking about,
the world's already suffered
and its still suffering.

Built with no satisfaction, protestent without satisfaction
coming to get what, we hate with a passion
We've got the questions, but we aint got the fashion
Theres just somethings we will not subject our minds to,
and that's this molotov action.

It's like they shut us up at every chance
and dress us up and make us do their dance.
Unpowerful and thoughtless words they say
make drastic changes for everyday.

I'm tired of all the mediocre audicity
the conflict right here in front of me.
the energy of hate I will not tolerate
that somehow always finds a means to duplicate.

They charge us for their doctrines of faith
they we somehow become victom to
we're stuck on this integral race
and theres no way to move.
chorus.

Come on, people- there must be song
cause if we're gonna fight the masses were gonna go out strong.
With no weapons, no negative enforcement
the power we have is in our voice and we'll use it.

Come one, people- this is a fighting chance
race to beat them before they have you lanced.
Just remember that when you give in, your voice is their puppet
and they will use that when they centralize and make you love it.



Fresh Soil & Green Crops

How about a little world history
for the democratic youngins and the kids of curiosity
The world is a long path and survival is key
cause some don't always die so peacefully.
The French and the Indians had a war
segregation started so it drew some pre-colonial border
blacks against whites, the race-taxation the blacks have few rights
the merchants were smart, the blood make the public fight
but someone stood up and shouted on behalf of her people-
that it wasnt over- somebody's gonna pay
we're gonna have our rights no matter what you say.
The centuries of new and old
began on fresh soil and green crops as days got cold
Hardly harder and hesitant mind
burning the treaties of good happy kind, forever.

It will go down peacefully in history- forever.
It will remain apart of you and I- for as long as we die.
and I'm not cool with it.

The burning bridges of sancticity
shall remain a boiling proof that this light will offer prosperity
in the bounds that this barter will be free from nectar
and the hearts we share this food with will be cool and pay us back the fuckin favor.
So if thy has come for raunchier wisdom
so blessed be, there hath no existance of it in this kingdom
and if you be the one who come ask for faith
in the opinion that a believer shall be free from the curse that bless the majority
then ask not but do tell, why you so do think the way you do
I'd like to know so I can poison you.

pre-chorus
Chorus.

Your world is many things but it is not a brother
now we're fighting with military economics
and ally-segregation it's like an unfunny comic
the way we pick and choose is dependent on money
the games we play with foes it's the longest race we're running
will you be victom of this petty outcast crap
or somehow rise above the superior doctrines of the trap
come on in if you need a little history cuz
it's 1 8 00 and now you got the fuckin police.



6.9.03

Just Wait

You could choose to be alone,
if it were just you sitting still in a room by yourself
You could choose to stay on your feet
If this world could somehow pull you from this hell.

You could choose to be alive and well
if the world around you didnt feel so bland
It's all in how you act, you know.
but things dont always work out as planned

I see the look in your eyes,
something's got you down
it makes a dent in the world
I know you'll never make a sound.
when all you feel is malcontent
they socialize so they dont have to see it
There is a price you'll pay someday
if you chose to live your life this way.

You could choose to sing if it helped you
and if your mind tired of monotony on a rotating world.
You could choose to laugh if the words fumbled you
and you could end up beating yourself up.
To growl at hunger is to fake lonliness
where somebody wants you to cry
because they're holding onto your love and they wont let you die.
Some will just walk away
while they could choose to stay and listen close
things will get better, hear me good
but it may take slow progression, so just have faith and trust the ones you love the most.

5.9.03

Oh I can see the beauty within you.
From your natural existance there is truth


The Insane Song
(this song is insane)

This is a metal song, but don't take it seriously
because it is only explaining my boring personal life not politics.
And girls and chicks, and dogs and hicks
that make me go insane, when I meet them, theyre all vain.
And I wanna go out and play, but they're all in their living room shooting up
crack with a bum that just got off the broken train.

I'm a hippy, I'm a metal head
jackle said: happy make me sad
Just because Im insane
just because Im insane.
Just because Im insane
Im a hippy, I'm a foster child
throw an axe at me and I'll be fine for awhile.
Im insane.

I didnt put a lot of time into this
I didnt think I'd need to, the attention span of most people is very little now
I can make a record out of farts, isnt that just bliss.
I can call you up and say "i miss you"
but what would that do
actualize the assualt that you'll give me the next day for being cold-hearted dush.

Chorus.

this just an insane song
and I tell it like it is, cuz it's my song
go buy a record of the Misfits if you want to hear some really scary lyrics
buy my CD, and I will make you fear it.
cuz it's insane.



The current obstructions of our music culture:

These short examples are putting it at the most of what is our concern for a particular music-culture at hand. Because the underground/independent music culture happens to allocate and support bands that are of interest to the fans and remains "all about the music", we know that- therefor- there cannot be too much left to complain about- considering This is our culture and it's the only place where we will get and support great independent artists.
So, on that note- I bring you the current things wrong with the independent culture that are not nessesarily bad obstructions but just nasty habits about the
"industry" that could be catalysed by We- the people.
Then, below that are examples of things we- as an audience of this music- could do to change this environment to make it a greater culture. Of course one is
always to go out to your local independent music store and support as many bands by buying several copies of their CD's, maybe 10 more :)
And spread the word.

Obstructions of the Underground Music Culture:
things slightly wrong.

Not enough Good bands are supported by music listeners of all ages.
Not enough Good bands recognised by the record labels. there sure are quite a bunch (on Epitaph and Dischord for example), but their seems to be a lot of stail action in the scene going on also. We need to take this possitively and group our sences of vision and listenership and emotion together and start recognising good, inventful bands. Also, Adobe printing on the internet is also a excellent way to promote bands. Use internet-programs (like Adobe) to create flyers for a webbed world community of people involved in exploiting independent artists.
Go internet.

One too many people supporting P2P file-sharing Napster-affiliate programs. I mean, one or two songs from each album is cool- it satisfies a listener. But downloading the entire disk is just selling the artist short from making his living off of it. It, not to mention, limits the hights an artist desires to go.
Get a couple songs, descide if it's worth buying and then Leave that internet device alone.

4.9.03

Patch Markets For Awe-Inducing Bands.

The southern California microcosm in the early punk rock days, which leads us to the
bigger days with harder (of course not litterly) and poppier bands like Blink 182,
it wasn't so hard for Bad Religion to greet attention waiting at the gates for
whatever- stardom, music-geniousness, profound punk- destiny is always pre-perculant
at that era- the punk era. But of course Bad Religion did their studies and
found that musicianship through "partying", having a lot of fun, and hobby-venturing quite
inevitably did-so pay off in the end for an aspiring or prototypical punk rocker.
This assumption seems to be in the least, Mildly suitible for punk bandages like
Bad Religion considering they had commenced a tour with new-old Unk-venture "loud-mouths"
Blink 182 (not to exploit that Rightful venture, with indeed no intention). Considering
BR are the almost quintessential sweatshirt-patch-punk-band- which doesnt get recalled
as a regular artistry-Label often (smirk)- in what most punks would refer to as
a dead zone of political nonsence and petty warships between newbies- BR seem to contain
the uttermost quasi-punk ballads referenced back to the 70's with the appropriate individual
honing of their own-style-yet-The Established-style..not cheating at this punk game of course.
But creating music, punk warfare music about kids growing up with Knowledge pinned on their
newly cultural-certified fashion-knit sweatshirt- but the Bad Religion patch in the upper-right
hand corner or whatever that thingy is with the "Jesus Cross" crossed out%^$%^$%^
Eventually, and perhaps- inevitably without doubt for sure- this band will revive the
entrails of the punk rock angst theme- in spirit- where everyone will wear the patches
of conformity and popular-credentialism once assuming every one "punker" "likes"
Bad Religion "or whatever", they will be Thenafter the posterboy patch on the wall.....
Monkies will fall in the river for sure.
An indent in your day is sure to put the greeting down
I fly away cuz I dont want anything to do with dead nouns
theres no room for a depressed crazed maniac like you
throw the switchknife away and step into the blue.




A List Of Things Gone Wrong With Music Industrialism

The Big Bag That Sung "Free Chilli for everyone, but the vigilantes"

Rock Critisism.

this is not really an essay. Because, assuming that it were an essay, it would indicate
an underlining theme and of course would be written precicely formatted in the
way that all essays are written. The former montoge shows that there seems to be
no Exact underlining theme as this was all written out of seperate parts containing
one big "over-all" message, but is handled in the same manner as would
the lecture on this piece be given in it's same form, same partial birth-right.
But this Arti-ssay- if you will-, however, does not perform the laws of creditory
master that would an acedemic free-form paper be attributed to. So how can
this piece be qualifiable for maturity-material when it's boundary lies in the
ozone of pure condition or extra-immunity. Or- in other words- this piece, assuming
applicatory maturity was confirmed at least half-acedemically- is a man's general
curiousness proposed on paper (or rather on the induction of actual force-fed computerized
components) with the requisition of verbose description/unsound evidential accountability
of the guidelines and verbatim of the music industry which handles free-thought and
sometimes Powerfully controlled work. If this material is in any way Unsound
as it appears to be to my notion as of this date, then considerable and descreetly digestible
material hereto must burn in the ashes assigned to by all pending lawyers and
contracts of Microsoft. By the way, this is just an opinion but it is ment to
region and appropriate some people. However, if dare curious, I can assure you that This
may be regarded a performable (or performed) intellegence in the inquire of postconditional
thoughts in an unbalanced form pure of all speaking and lecture rights --in otherwords
Available through private or public lecture in the courts of education, if that were acceptible
and contract-negotiatable through each member/soul/party of "whatever" convention or
school, program and/or lecture class-- housed All under the agreement that whatever data
elicited through this work, is general admittion- sought for ACT-ORIAL reasons and not
for merely Thought-right perposes of intent. This material, needless to say, could definetly,
possitively go a long way with a class lecture in proposial mind of that matter.
The words expressed within, provoke me to exclaim that I could write a whole
semester and a half curriculum on the subject material.....Oh this will
be my time to think it over.

Read the fuckin' stuff for now.



*Imminent pop-culture forces bands and pop-bands to make their videos based
on the decisions and critism of other people. Their visions are lost and controlled
by angry, petty, psuedo-arty directors and delegators who can't even pronounce the band's name
let alone understand the ripe meaning of their lyrics and melodies.
The whole entire catastrophie is basically this new music industry monopoly type thing
going on; the entire mainstream world of rock & roll has given it's every limb to the elitist
shitheads who do no more than direct a single video (sell a few bucks), produce a CORPORATE
SOUNDING CD (sell trillion more bucks), sell merchandice (sell a few more bucks),
even maybe write a song or delogate the melody on the chorus or some bullshit (sell bucks)---
and this all minimizes the outcome of every rock-band's standard while it pushes the limits and
interests of the big-swine merchants in charge with the big cigars in gritted between their
ugly teeth.
This is discrimination of band-policy and it is fucked up. Because, now, considering half of the
bands that go Big (meaning mainstream, selling a million records per year), don't even
last long enough to fund for their own expenses. It all must go to These Guys. Hence, the
record contract wears on them, and gets them all gittery about doing another record that
they were forced to do in the first place- after they just got done touring...and the
whole artistic vision of the band is lost in this quasi-political/organized scheme to sell a
few bucks to the record loafers in charge, and this protects what itinaryo of the band?
You can't go global with a record deal and blockbuster sucess. You can either fail making a good
record or you can shit on the industry for housing all of your budgetting. Because Your
music, and the expences that Would go to your equipment is thrown to the videos, the consistant tours,
the promo-shots, the extras, the photo-shoots, the live-feeds on TV that keep you tethered
to the experience that is the record label you shot for. It's a Have-To sitituation.
And it's wearing out the judges of music who deem this petty sex/alienation scene to be
slightly overrated- it's causing people to fear your anomosity and your power and your
regulation- as a fucking band. A band is ment to breed entertainment, and now whado we get?
Corporate pushovers, feared by the slighted audiencial race who seem to think power
lies in tax-dollars and converted sales quantities by the brander.
Look, it isn't like the potential to actually Have-A-Good-Record is hopeless. If you
want it bad enough, you can suceed at it. It's what is faith and persistance.
You just can't be signed over by the crook of all past-time joy. You can't sway in
that direction anymore thinking that you'll be recognized for who you truely are as "musicians"
and liked for your "ability". "Those" successors become easily jaded and outrun by
the scam.
To push things to a newer, different, higher level- you must build the bridges of your own
imagery, take into account that failure is possible and should be embraced with open arms,
and your ideal "way" is being stopped by no one. Basically, if there is something on your
burner that hasnt completely filled your plate, reach out and grab it, then Account for
uncertainty always crutching curiousity and awareness. know who the "bad guys" are, know
what You want and then Know how to get it. The best way to learn is through the uncertainty
of it all and the curiousity and reveling in the Bad Guy territory. The path that is looking
for your best interests will be the alternative, and that path is hence easy to find
because it is on the otherside of what you are facing, generally speaking.
Once you've reached that ultimate platue, it's as easy as milktoast rotten Mr. Grunge,
the art and the area are all there in that in-tune independent device that shares the same
emotion, love and enjoyment and entertainment. These guys are feeling and writting the same
thing as you are, and were afraid to go big with it (some of them) because of fear in
provoking large crouds who can't assemble right around heavy-distorted goth music.
Perhaps though, your music is different and will take on new bounderies. Fiqure out what's
best for you. In the end, humble people will always win the game (if there ever was
a game to be won), those who stay content and extatic about the future stay on for a long
while never missing their one or two or 5 chances to prove their worth and Realism-point-
strong minds for the blossoming youth and adult-life who never listen to a band
that had to or intentionally went through the motions as in a bland, stail fashion.
There are those two types of music-people in the end- I guess you could say such a peripheral
were true if you wanted to sum things up a bit, for no more than a good, peaceful ending-,
and they are (unfortunately or fortunatly): There are the musicians whove dedicated their
life to persuing their best interests and making sure the deals they hold onto have their
best interests at hand as well, in placing great money and support. Humble, helpful,
curious minds who are willing to travel at any situation at least once.

Then there are those who value the small concepts of the music life and take for granted
many of the ideals and stragedies supported by their free-study field of expertise.
The ones who stagger on empathy for all kinds of helping hands for way to long, that it
ends up leaking to their apathy.
Always jumping to that futile ground wear mystery, chaos and attempt seem to be the bridge
least desired to cross at reasoning they might draw alienated responses and cause trouble.
these are the unfortunate "soul-less" ones, the compound quintessential components of their
individualism drawn out of their skulls.
The advice best given to a free-thinker whom desires an Actuallity of coincidence, un-orthadox
methodology whom has driveled in the spite of one too many assholes on the red planet of
corporatia is- Start up a record label, or at least compound a scene of your local bands
and instigate some real independence involved with some significant leads to a better
more polygenerated subdivision-based music scene. And differentiate away from the
big rock/drama scandals.